Lexicon Chapter 10: Uncle Brandon 102
by JudgeDreadz
“Can’t meet up, Lex. What do you need?” asked Uncle Brandon groggily. In the background I could hear an equally groggy female voice saying “Tell them to fuck off Harry”
I filled Uncle Brandon in on the details since I last saw him.
“Just a minute” he said. I couldn’t tell whether he was talking to me or his acquaintance.
It sounded like he was leaving his bedroom. I could hear him pouring something into a glass and the scraping of a chair on the floor. Shortly after, he started speaking again “It sounds like this bird was into you.” He sniffled slightly before continuing “but it sounded like you were not sure what you wanted to do. Women know when a guy knows what to do. When he knows, they like that. When he doesn’t they find it repulsive. Most women will hate having to take control. It makes them feel slutty, and not in a good way.”
Only Uncle Brandon could think that slutty could be taken in a good way.
“But I don’t really know what to do, Uncle Brandon. I have never tried to make a girl like me. Mindy hit on me and I have been with her for four years. Even if I once knew how to like, get sexual with a girl, I would have forgotten it by now,”
Uncle Brandon chuckled to himself slightly. “You don’t have to learn anything, kiddo. Do you think cavemen needed to learn how to fuck? Are you dumber than a caveman? I don’t think so. Just don’t try so hard. Women love sex too. Trust me. If she likes you, just sit back and relax and get out of your own way.”
I was about to ask him about the apparent contradiction of how to take control of the situation while sitting back and relaxing, when he cut me off.
“Listen kid, got to run. Let me know how you go.”
Before I could say bye, Uncle Brandon hung up and I was left even more confused than before.
That night, I went to a party that was kind of a tribute to Wayne. While Wayne wasn’t much good at school, a lot of the kids at school loved the t-shirts he distributed through his business. He was something of an icon at the advanced age of nineteen.
I wasn’t looking forward to it. I was pretty sure Mindy would be there. And if she wasn’t, I was pretty sure some of her friends would be.
“Come on man,” whined Danny “don’t be a pussy. You are letting her run your life even after you broke up. Don’t be a pussy” he repeated. Words were not Danny’s strong point.
Danny had a point. I was going to have to face Mindy sooner or later. The trouble was, Mindy was so difficult to read. I was sure she was going to blow up when we broke up but her response was unexpectedly underwhelming.
I was also keen to see how Uncle Brandon’s new advice would work for me. The more I was thinking about Mindy, the more I felt like it was throwing me off course. As the afternoon rolled around, I realised that the best course of action was probably to try and get the initial contact over with as soon as possible.
