Lexicon Chapter 14: Lex 2.0
by JudgeDreadz
I pushed open the door from the bathrooms into the festivities and the energy hit me like a tidal wave.
You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, I told myself. It was at this moment that I realised that I had lost Danny. He and his new love interest were now nowhere to be seen. I almost told myself that it was time to go home. I felt like a foreigner and I didn’t belong here. I realised that my mind probably was not helping me make the most of the experience. The old Lex didn’t belong here I told myself. The new Lex doesn’t have a home. The new Lex goes wherever he wants.
I felt myself standing up straighter and puffing my chest out. I was going to make the most of this.
I saw a trio of cute girls dressed up as angels joyously dancing to the music. I walked over to them, trying to keep in time with the music which resulted in my attempted masculine swagger alternating into a slightly feminine skip.
I started dancing with them. They were all so little, I felt like a giant dancing among pixies. Actually, I was more dancing around them. I figured it was time for them to get to notice me. I waved to one of them and said “Hi, I’m Lex.”
“What?” I read her lips.
Silly me. The music was way too loud. I could barely hear the words coming out of my own mouth. I was lost. If I couldn’t talk to them, what could I do? The answer came to me, as I saw Danny. He and his nurse were dancing to the music. They were dancing slowly and completely out of time with the music, seemingly entranced with each other.
I realised that I didn’t have to talk. My angel was back to dancing with her friends once again completely oblivious to my presence. I grabbed her hand and she yanked her hand away as if my hand had just nibbled on hers. I did not know what to do. Then I realised that she was probably seeing if I knew what to do, to see whether I could take control like Uncle Brandon was explaining. The question was, should I trust in Uncle Brandon’s advice?
I gulped down and felt my heart beat really fast and then reached out with both hands and grabbed her hips on either side and spun her towards me. She kind of stumbled into me with her head resting on my chest. What am I doing I asked myself. I fully expected a slap in the face but it never came. I only felt her hands on my chest, gently pushing her face away from my chest. When I looked at her, I expected to see the surprised look Jessica had given me before but instead she was giggling and slightly blushing.
I was so surprised by her reaction that I did not have time to do anything before her other two angel companions grabbed her by the arms and ushered her away.
I stamped my foot on the ground like an angry toddler who did not get his way. It felt like I could do nothing right. Even when things were going my way, something would come up to squash that little glimmer of hope.
“Nice shirt” said a voice that my ears pulled towards me through the waves of sound encasing me.
I turned around and saw a pretty face with skin like porcelain framed by long dreadlocked jet black hair. She had a silver bar piercing through her eyebrow and a big smile which revealed her slightly crooked teeth.
I turned around and laughed.
“Why do people keep saying that?” I asked.
“Because it shows you have a sense of humour and people like a sense of humour”
I did not know what she meant. I thought she was making fun of me. But I did not know what to do.
“Hi, I’m Lex” I said extending my hand.
As expected, she gestured that she couldn’t hear me. She pulled out a packet of cigarettes and beckoned for me to follow her outside.
We exited Heaven’s Gate and joined the cloud of smokers gathering near the entrance. I hated second hand smoke. I hated the habit of smoking altogether but this seemed to be a nice change of fortune for me. Through the haze, I could get a better look at my new friend. She looked even prettier outside the dim lighting of the club.
She offered me a cigarette and without thinking, I took one of the slender sticks out of the packet and put it in my mouth. I silently hoped that I put the right end in my mouth as she raised the lighter to my lips to light my cigarette. The old Lex would have rejected the cigarette. The old Lex probably would not have come outside. But I despised the old Lex.
I inhaled and choked on the smoke in a cough and a splutter.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
I thought about a way I could talk myself out of this but I could not “I actually don’t smoke. I just wanted a reason to talk to you. You seem nice. Hi, I’m Lex” I said extending my hand.
She laughed. It sounded so sweet.
“You’re funny. I’m Stef.” She reached over but did not shake my hand. Instead, she pulled the cigarette from between my inexperienced fingers and put it in her mouth to join her other cigarette. There was something really sexy about that. I think it was because my saliva was in her mouth.
She blew the smoke from both cigarettes out the side of her mouth and locked eyes with me and smiled. Her smile made my heart beat quicker. It made me uncomfortable. I had to say something.
“So…I haven’t seen you around here” I said, the words spilling out my mouth.
“Really?” she said “I am here all the time. When did you start coming here?”
“I errr…actually this is my first time” I admitted.
Stef looked at me slightly confused.
“I guess I was just trying to make conversation” I said sheepishly answering her unasked question.
Stef looked at me and then I saw the smirk creep across her face turning into a smile. She chuckled.
“I don’t know whether you are being serious or not. But I like you. You’re not like all the other guys around here.”
“Thanks” I said, returning her smile. She likes me because I’m not like the other guys, I thought to myself. This sounded promising.
She took another drag of her cigarette and blew the smoke out from her nostrils. She made the habit I despised so much so very appealing.
“I’m curious, why did you choose tonight to come to Heaven’s Gate?”
“Just. You know. Stuff happens.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean” she said with a sigh “So what do you think?”
“Ummm…” I didn’t know what to say. Should I tell her that I felt so out of place that I had to look at myself in the mirror for god knows how long in order to just be in the crowd without freaking out? The truth had served me pretty well so far. Probably best to stick to that, I thought to myself. “I think the music gets pretty boring after a little while.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean” she said with a carbon copy of the sigh she responded with earlier “I don’t really care for it too much myself.” She threw both cigarettes on the ground and stamped them out under her boot clad foot. She then pulled out a stick of gum. I watched hypnotised as her glossy cherry red lips gently churned away at the spearmint green stick.
“Hey!” The word broke my trance. Stef was offering me a stick of gum.
“Thanks” I said. This girl was dynamite. What was she doing out here with a pink dress shirt wearing loser like me? I looked around. There were some couples, some trios and some bigger groups just enjoying each others company, sharing cigarettes and laughs.
She pulled down the right side of her top and reached her left hand down near her right breast. She made me an offer I couldn’t refuse “I want to show you something. Come here.” I found myself magnetically lured towards her. What was she planning? Why was she toying with me? Was she trying to lull me into a false sense of security so that her scary looking fancy dress wearing friends could roll me for all my cash and wordly possessions? The joke was on them, it would be a waste of their energy.
Stef pulled her phone out from her bra, or thereabouts. She plugged in some earphones and offered me one.
“Listen to this” she said.
I put the earphone in my ear and she hit play. The sound was unlike anything I had ever heard. I couldn’t tell what instruments were being played. But the lyrics were very familiar. About half-way through the song, I realised that the lyrics were from John Lennon’s song “Imagine” but it had been interpreted in a very different way. It was beautiful.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Stef. Her eyes were closed and she had a blissful smile on her face. Her shiny lips sparkled slightly as her words gently mouthed the words. It was then I noticed that my hand was resting on her thigh. Her hand was on top of mine. My hand was on top of her other hand which was holding the phone that was playing the music that was creating this beautiful moment.
I thought about how I missed out on a great time with Nikki because I didn’t act. I thought about how I messed up a great night with Jessica because I was too forward. I watched Stef. She was more beautiful than both of them combined. I tried to put the past behind me. That was the old Lex. The overthinking Lex. Now I would just follow my gut and my gut was telling me I had to kiss her now. The song could end at any time.
I moved my face close to hers and closed my eyes and hoped for the best.
Just then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jerked my head around and the earphone yanked itself out of my ear, breaking the pleasurable meld of the past few minutes.
“Hey man, I thought I’d lost you!”
It was Danny. He sure knew how to choose his moments.
Stef awoke from her trance and shot a surprised glance at Danny. His eyes darted to Stef’s face and then at our intertwined hands and then back to me. Now it was his turn to look surprised.
“Stef, this is my best friend Danny” I said to her.
“Nice to meet you, Stef. I …um, have to get a drink” and as unexpectedly as he had arrived, Danny shuffled away.
“He seems nice” said Stef.
“He has his moments” I tried to change the subject “who is this? I really like them.” It was the truth.
“The Flawless Triangle. They are one of my favourite bands” said Stef. She cocked her head to the side slightly and shot me a smile that stretched the corners of my mouth into a toothy grin. I felt like I had lost control of my face.
“They are playing here next week. You should come. It will be fun.”
“That sounds like…like fun” I said still trying to regain control of my facial expressions and my mastery of the English language.
Just then, like screeching bats out of a cave, a swarm of girls dressed like Stef came out and pulled her away from me.
“Stop being boring and come dance with us” was one of the things I heard among the din. I saw Stef turn her heard towards me as she was being rushed away. I could read “Next week” on her lips as she pointed to the doors of Heaven’s Gate.
I put a reminder in my phone to be at Heaven’s Gate next week. As I was doing so, I saw I had a message. It was from Danny.
“Hey man. Gotta run. Nice work.”
It was unlike Danny to leave without me. Then again, this was the first time I had really seen him getting physical with a girl. Maybe he had taken her home, or maybe he was just trying to give me space to be alone with Stef.
It looked like once again, after a night of promise I was going home alone again. But this time, I did not mind so much.
