Lexicon Chapter 18: From St. Andrew’s Hospital
by JudgeDreadz
The next day I didn’t go to class.
Today is that day. I am sitting in Uncle Brandon’s hospital room with Dad.
I took a seat next to Dad. If Uncle Brandon decided that his life was not worth living, what hope did I have? My previous monotonous, predictable existence was changing at an alarming rate. It was like trying to wade through a quagmire.
“Lex, you barely said a word since last night. Is there something I can do?”
I shook my head silently. What could Dad do?
Uncle Brandon was in a deep sleep but the doctors said he should make a full recovery.
On the drive home, the monosyllable “Why?” left my mouth.
“Why do people kill themselves?”
“Why would Uncle Brandon kill himself? He had the life. He was successful in every sense of the word.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about Uncle Brandon, Lex”
“You always say that but you never give me an answer. Why do you never tell me?”
“Because I see the way you look at him Lex. You look up to him like a role model. I didn’t want to take that away from you.”
It was pretty clear that was not going to happen anymore. I pretty much stopped looking up to him after he gave me such crap advice.
“Uncle Brandon has been doing pretty badly. He kept it very hush hush but he hasn’t had a job for a long time.”
As if sensing my next question, Dad followed with
“Those trips he goes on are job hunts because he can’t get a job nearby. After Sharna left him, he emotionally collapsed. He then tried to fill the void by doing anything to sleep with women who could tolerate him for a few hours. I am not sure what he told them, but in the end they didn’t stay for long.”
Hearing my straight laced Dad talk about women and sex so frankly was very confronting.
We pulled into the driveway of our home. It was still only late morning but Dad was looking very tired.
“I’m going to lie down” he said.
“Won’t work be upset? It sounds like you have been really busy”
“Hmmm…Lex, I was putting off telling you this for some time. Now is probably as good a time as any. When I am out, I am not always at work. I have started seeing someone.”
I was surprised at how unsurprised I was by this news. Everything was changing around me. I was ready for my Dad to grow antennae and tell me his new companion lives in some distant galaxy and they must help repopulate the colony assisted by the liberal application of massage oil and massage candles.
Thankfully, that conversation never came up.
“Dad, why didn’t you tell me?” I asked. I felt like Dad had coddled me like a small child. He obviously didn’t respect my composure. Then again, the way I freaked out when I saw him at Sir Kinkalots, I could not be too harsh on him.
“I wasn’t sure how long it was going to last and well, time flies as they say. You have to meet her, Lex, she’s great. Really funny. You will love her.”
I didn’t know what to say. It seemed like everyone around me was able to recover from break-ups except me. I forced a smile and a “Well done, Dad” and went up to my room.
I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. If two and a half weeks ago I had shaken up my world, it had clearly been turned on its head today. I did not know what to think or believe. I had been taking advice from a suicidal sleaze while my lame coin collecting father had been getting after work rub downs from a woman he was crazy about. Was I not being enough like Dad?
I shuddered to think of myself coming home to a box of coins. No. I had already tried one extreme and if the last week had taught me anything it was that the middle is the path to follow. It had not been all bad.
I lay on my bed looking at the ceiling. I was drained. I reflected on my eventful few weeks and what had happened. I had definitely needed to leave Mindy. That was a given. I realised how much that relationship was draining me only after I left.
And now, despite my slow start, I felt like a lion set amongst a field of lionnesses. In my reflective state I realised that it had been only a few weeks since Mindy and I had broken up. It was harsh to say it was not the start I had expected. It was only two weeks since I was a free man. I had not even started.
Clearly, change wasn’t as easy as other people made it look. I looked sideways to my desk with the closed laptop sitting on it.
I did not feel much like sleeping. I sat at my desk, unfolded my laptop as I had done many times before since I had decided to explore my creative prowess. However, this time I felt inspiration coursing through me. I started writing about the day I decided to something needed to change and started working from there. I figured, that in the future, when I had all of this handled, I would reflect on this time and think it was rough, but necessary.
I had found my muse
All was not lost.
